When fate plays with Faith.

So this is what happens when fate plays with me. Faith. (That's me, in case people start wondering where Cate went to, Cate is Faith. Catherine Faith.)

I just wanna ask. Why me? Why not her? I have been a good girl, (maybe not all year long) but good enough to know what is fulfilling and what's it like to live with a heart. It's so hard feeling so tired, not having enough physical strength to go on; sometimes I just feel like lying in bed. I've got my plans in my head- after I graduate from JC I wanna go round the region with friends, do relief teaching, volunteer again at Bishan Home, work, get into a decent uni to study psychology and philosophy. And more. I don't ask for As, I don't ask for huge bucks, I don't ask for fame, wealth. All I want is my health. My sanity. Whatever, and whoever makes me happy.

She has love. But I can't even love openly. She can do whatever she wants. I am not allowed to. She's not smart. I am. She's shallow. I know the workings of Man's heart, and what changes purpose. She loves fleetingly and unwillingly. I love deeply and am constant. She embodies all that's fun, sun, girlish laughter, makeup, skimpy clothes, small assets, secrets under the sheets, charms and potions. But I am all blood, flesh, frankness, raw uncensored emotions, the heart.

She loves to chatter. I love to talk, listen and get wrapped up in real conversation. She giggles, I laugh, or smile. She talks. I write. She writes with a feathery quill on fancy sheets. I write in honest blue or black on plain lined sheets.

I just hope I don't get taken away too soon. Please. Don't. A plea from someone who just wants to be happy. I am deserving of life. What more should I do to prove this?